BethLauren, I am praying for you! God doesn’t always change the circumstances we despise, but He will provide a way in the darkness. Try to find things that bring you peace and joy and do them. Even little things. I am still alone, no friends or boyfriend, none of my family talks to me basically (other than my parents and there’s some issues there too) I work a job I’m not appreciated and it’s very intense and time consuming, etc, BUT, while those circumstances haven’t changed and still hurt, God has provided me a safer head space via helping me when I started to walk forward towards Him and His kingdom doing His work to help others, when I decided to put more time into Him (praying and studying His word) and when I was more aggressive about when the bad thoughts come in, I push them out to protect my headspace. I say, I don’t want to think about that, or that’s not my future, or I want to be at peace and force it away. I’ve begged the Lord for changed circumstances, and He doesn’t always do that, but He can change you in the storm. That’s within your reach when the outside is bad. I spend time with my plants for peace. I make sure I rest as much as I can when I have a chance. I try to keep myself occupied and not allow my brain to make me sad. If I sit and think about my life, it is sad. It isn’t right or normal. It does suck. And I’m totally validated in feeling those feelings, just as you are. However, I just got tired of feeling them and I wanted to feel something else. I became desperate to stop drowning. I created a purpose for myself that benefits the kingdom and I can see God all over it. He’s in every part. I pray that the Lord shines lights into your life in the areas He wants you to focus and puts dark clouds to cover the places He’s working on that you don’t need to worry about any more. I pray He provides you peace and comfort in your storm. I pray He helps your son and provides all that he needs to be happy and safe and healthy too! I pray He strengthens You with supernatural strength to see a new path to walk in your head that leads to new actions in your day to day life that leads to more peace. Be brave and take baby steps where you can. God is there. He will provide. Start to walk and if you see openings, blessings and answers to prayer, I think He is confirming it. If you see death and destruction and emptiness and closed doors and it doesn’t look like a possibility, pray and if nothing changes, maybe try a new direction. Just keep stepping out and that way you can find where He wants you. I pray He gives supernatural guidance to where you need to be and go and do with your family and I pray all blessings and peace and wisdom in your trials. They are very difficult and painful and confusing and traumatic, but the Lord will provide. There is hope. I remember what it felt like when I didn’t have any. And now I have some. Not total, but some. I pray you can have some hope, it really helps! It gives you breath and endurance, to keep on when you see nothing changing. I pray He relieves your pains and lessens your challenges and provides for you in every way you need! We’re here for you!! Hugs!
BethLauren, I am praying for you
BethLauren, I am praying for you and your family! I ask for God's guidance for you and for His peace in your lives!