StephanieUSA, I am praying for you
Even my own family has abandoned me. My own dad has chosen some other family and their children to be his primary attention. I think these people are just using him, but it’s a sad and hurtful situation because he will not come to my events but will go to the other families’ children’s events. He will go out of his way to be with them but can only bother to see me once a week. He talks to their daughter on the phone multiple times a day but never calls me. It hurts. And that’s just one out of so many who have hurt and abandoned me. And that’s after my dad destroyed our family with infidelity and so much drama. I’m a good person with a good heart and I’ve been used and abused and rejected and harmed in so many ways. My soul is broken. I just don’t understand what He is doing with me. I’m confused God. I’m hurting. Why is this my life? How come every time I get brave and try again I get crushed again? Why can’t You just let something work out for me? Why can’t You put a friend or mentor or boyfriend or anyone in my life? Why are You keeping me alone? What is this? What am I supposed to be learning? Other than joining You in suffering, this is beyond my human comprehension. I’m utterly crushed and I gather my resources and bravery and try again and again and just keep failing. Why? Help me understand. Guide me. Anything. I will take any scrap of anything, Lord. Please don’t be silent. Teach me or heal me or something. I need some sort of momentum. I can’t stagnate any more. My life is halfway over. I’m supposed to be thriving and rocking and serving Your kingdom, not alone and abandoned and broken like a piece of trash. There’s no way this is what You want for me. Where are we going? What do I do next? I’m ready run. Im ready to fight. I just need to know what. But I can’t stay like this any more. I’m wasting my life.